My take: I got two kids, one's not yet 1.5 years old, the other one is a month old.
It's hard. I have tremendous respect for my wife, because - she's the one spending the most time with the kids. That said: I do work from home and this DOES influence my ability to work.
I wouldn't want to miss them. They are great. I agree with the OP that they help you in some ways (keeping a schedule, logistics, making sure that you're not slacking off during the day and getting into a frenzy mode at night).
But they have a (cough) cost. I'm looking left and right for a job that would make me happier. I usually don't even dare to send an application (because hey, could I actually take it? I mean.. probation time etc. even if they'd take me in) and if I do I usually know that I won't risk it either.
The big risk is not productivity. That can be avoided and a decent structure (support in your family, a good understanding with your SO) solves most of the standard "But aren't kids dragging you down?" issues.
But flexibility is truly lost, unless you have lots of savings or your SO earns enough money (BZZZZT). At this point in time I'm absolutely certain that I'll never start a company of my own (okay, okay, let's be honest: The kids are not to blame for most of the issues: I don't even have a decent idea. I'm saying: I wouldn't, even with the perfect pitch) and I'm even reasonably sure that I'll stick with my current company for a loooong time.
For safety, family. I just cannot experiment anymore.
My bet is that you probably have a huge mortgage to pay and little savings. That is what is killing you.
I have a kid, however we also have no mortgage, no cars(live in a centre of a city) and can save quite a bit per month.
I think stable is dangerous, being dependent on employment from someone is terrible. Basically I live with assumption that I might need to look for a new gig next week. So keep my network maintained, my skill continuously sharpened etc. Do not fear losing job embrace it!
Good bet, but wrong. I don't own a thing, I'm renting an apartment. Single income, wife's never started (due to the kids, plans to start Real Soon Now™).
I don't fear losing my job. Without bragging: I'm reasonably sure that I'm among the best developers the company has, easily. My life's even quite relaxed, due to my (earned) status. It's just boring. And sometimes annoying.
So I'm not afraid of losing my job. That is totally possible, but imo quite unlikely at this point. I'm just afraid of actively looking for a 'fun job'.
Had to try, I know a few people like what I described.
Do not be afraid to look for fun job. Worst case happens you go there people hate you and fire you during probation. You are good you will find something else. Best part part you are not going to feel what if.. I am not saying put all your savings into building and AI startup or new Facebook lol. Love your life and you and your kid will be happier for it
i am just about to change my career, i have 3 kids under 4. it is a huge risk, but the potential reward is also huge. why am i doing it? well the pay off would be a much better life for my family than is currently possible. i am giving up promotion and stability for a sideways move and retraining. the fact i have kids is what is driving me to experiment rather than seek safety.
This isn't a problem that good savings can't solve. If it's too hard to come up with savings, the cost of having a family of three is probably too high.
I'm not denigrating families of three, I'm criticizing the way current costs and benefits of Western governments make it too expensive for responsible people to have decent-sized families.
I don't think I could muster the courage to do just that. Maybe your situation is different (here, we got just one income: Mine. No savings account or any property) or maybe you're just braver than me.
Again, I wish you all the best with your change of career, I just cannot imagine doing that myself.
It's hard. I have tremendous respect for my wife, because - she's the one spending the most time with the kids. That said: I do work from home and this DOES influence my ability to work.
I wouldn't want to miss them. They are great. I agree with the OP that they help you in some ways (keeping a schedule, logistics, making sure that you're not slacking off during the day and getting into a frenzy mode at night).
But they have a (cough) cost. I'm looking left and right for a job that would make me happier. I usually don't even dare to send an application (because hey, could I actually take it? I mean.. probation time etc. even if they'd take me in) and if I do I usually know that I won't risk it either.
The big risk is not productivity. That can be avoided and a decent structure (support in your family, a good understanding with your SO) solves most of the standard "But aren't kids dragging you down?" issues.
But flexibility is truly lost, unless you have lots of savings or your SO earns enough money (BZZZZT). At this point in time I'm absolutely certain that I'll never start a company of my own (okay, okay, let's be honest: The kids are not to blame for most of the issues: I don't even have a decent idea. I'm saying: I wouldn't, even with the perfect pitch) and I'm even reasonably sure that I'll stick with my current company for a loooong time.
For safety, family. I just cannot experiment anymore.