You write well enough. What's missing is maybe a punch in the guts. I mean in yours. Writers must have wounds to heal, must have a very strong agenda. You must want to kill someone, you must have your heart rotting in some hatred, or you must have this kind of faith only accessible to the mentally ill.

Writing shouldn't be a choice: it's write or die from your wounds.

Right now you're training in the gym, you need a beast on your neck to start running for real.

[edited slightly]