They wont because they're propped up by tax payer money :) the very thing they whine about.

in evolutionary biology, almost all cells die, but some of those that survived evolved to become humans

Strictly, no? No cell has been alive through that whole process. Rather, many laid the foundations that lead that direction.

Yes, this is very much a Ship of Theseus argument. But, I think that is very apropos?

I'm not a biologist but I thought there are no new cells, just old cells splitting.

The next logical steps to this is eugenetics, I'll pretend I didn't see this comment

BTW, we already tried that and it didn't work