I'm thrilled that you (and the other commenters) are really getting it. I feel the same way, and it informs everything I try to do.

It really is a great quote, gives tremendous insight on your moderation philosophy, and I read it frequently when stalking your mod actions ;-)

Related (maybe if you’re pareidoliac like me) principle I need to work on much harder to internalize is

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marit_ayin#In_private

;)

I believe I've got a better-than-chance feel for when a HN submission might hit the front page ("public") or will go/stay down in the long tail (giving opportunity for kicking off the shoes in "private" convos) but admit that when I mess it up it's usually spectacularly wrong.

For folks still paying attention (& on similar levels of practice/deliberation or cortex/amygdala :) the quote is from Milner’s

https://www.amazon.com/Suppressed-Madness-Sane-Men-Psychoana...

EDIT: right in the intro, for the especially impatient/deadtreefans.