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I would assume a larger portion of being graceful would be to not intentionally use words that you know have a negative impact on someone.



So I'm not supposed to call myself a man or greybeard?

This is a man-in-the-middle attack on the English language, and my American identity... but oooh... that's offensive too.

To quote General McAuliffe's response to a German call for the surrender of the 101st Airborne troops defending Bastogne

NUTS!


How does the term "handicap parking" have a negative impact on someone?


Not fully agreeing with parent, so it's more adressing directly your comment.

In casual conversation with people you have the context on, it's probably fine.

As a wording for official documents and dispkay that will sit prominently on public/semi-public places it might have wider effects: some people might not want to use it because of the naming, while it was set aside for them. Some people will be more aggressive towards user of this space if they feel they don't deserve it (not visibly handicapped enough) etc.

Signaling disabilities or special conditions is a real minefield to navigate properly. And thing is, you're putting time and effort yo have the widest acceptance possible, so what people think is kinda central.


> some people might not want to use it because of the naming, while it was set aside for them. Some people will be more aggressive towards user of this space if they feel they don't deserve it (not visibly handicapped enough) etc.

I'll accept this premise for the sake of discussion. How does replacing the word 'handicapped' fix any of these issues? Lets say we re-print all the signs to say 'accessible parking' and all the hangtags to say 'requires accessible parking'.

People still may potentially get upset that a seemingly able-bodied person used the special parking spot. People who require the special parking spot may still potentially feel bad about it and choose a regular spot.

Playing games with the labels does nothing to help people, and serves only to satisfy the self-righteous people writing the new labels.


I’m remembering a place going for “priority parking” panel, with smaller details on who had priority access. It was marked in a different color and still had the official wheelchair mark on the ground, but there was additional signage to explain anyone with a disability marker could use it.

The effect to my eyes was that when a car is parked, there was no wheelchair mark in sight, and no prominent “disability” wording (it’s still there, just not the “in your face” type), and people caring enough still had the small prints to explain it’s not just people in wheelchairs.

I agree with you that it won’t stop everyone for getting upset, I mean some people don’t need any excuse to get upset, so will always be edge cases. But I also think urban design has an effect, even on the people using it.

I have elder parents that can barely walk anymore, but they won’t use priority seats in the buses because they don’t want the “disabled” label sticking to them. Instead they skip buses after buses at the stop until normal seats seem available from the outside. It’s stupid, so stupid, but that’s how they think. Changing labeling can feel like a dirty hack, but if 10% more elderly people would use them as a result, I see it as a win.

It’s to me the equivalent of making the “delete” button red on a page, it’s good design taking into account the average user psychology.


I do agree for sure that compiling a list of words that could potentially be harmful is overstepping, and it's probably better overall for people to advocate for themselves and say what has a negative impact on them.

I'm just disagreeing with the idea that people who do experience actual negative impacts should put up with it in the name of being "graceful". That puts all the responsibility of societal grace on them.




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