Hacker News new | past | comments | ask | show | jobs | submit login

I had to coerce a friend into getting mental help.

He had made some self-destructive statements and a mutual friend reached out to me for help. Several of us scheduled an intervention to try to convince him to go get help and the day before the intervention, he made some more self-destructive statements so that same mutual friend called me and I went to his apartment. He looked like death warmed over. He hadn't been taking care of himself and was extremely thin and pale.

When I asked him to go to a hospital for help, he refused. I told him that I wasn't going to take no for an answer. He had been talking about harming himself and that's all we needed to have him involuntarily committed for 72 hours. He still didn't want to go so I called the police and explained that my friend had been talking about hurting himself and I thought he needed to be committed.

He even threatened that if I followed this course of action, it would mean the end of our friendship. I said that I would prefer to be able to drive past the place where I was no longer welcome than to drive past the place where my friend died because I didn't help him.

The police and paramedics came and the officers explained to me that because of his talk of self-harming, he could be involuntarily committed if he didn't go of his own volition. If he was right and there was "nothing" wrong with him, he could be out of the hospital in the morning.

Their argument persuaded him and he went voluntarily.

He was in the hospital for over a week. Long story short, his problem was caused by the side effect of a medication he was taking for a medical condition. They were able to find a different medicine that helped his condition without producing the side effect of depression. He's doing well today and we're still friends.




> He had been talking about harming himself and that's all we needed to have him involuntarily committed for 72 hours.

Frankly, I find it kind of disturbing that you can have anyone you know committed for several days just by lying to the police.


People can and have been sentenced to death because of lies told to the police.


Sure, but let's not start pushing for that to happen more. The comment I responded to sounds very approving of this.


The comment to which you replied was mine.

Yes, I approve of it. Without the ability to compel him to receive medical attention, my friend would have died.


You value your friend more than you do the people who were killed because someone else lied to the police.

But I don't.


Ah, I get it now. You're just looking to argue. Feel free to carry on without me.


> He had made some self-destructive statements... > ... he made some more self-destructive statements

It wasn't a lie.


How is that relevant at all? It could have been a lie. The police would never know.

http://dilbert.com/strip/2013-03-07


It could have been a lie but it wasn't.

We can play that game all day.

Even if the cops had heard him, the doctors who treated him wouldn't know if the cops were lying.

The judge, who had the final say about extending his observation beyond three days couldn't have known if I, the other friend, the cops, the paramedics and the doctors were lying.

There is often more nuance to real-life situations than "I contend that I didn't say that. He can't prove that I did say it."

Namely, my friend needed help. It was obvious to everyone, except him.


Wow, what a story. You're one of a kind, most people would be rather thought of as kind than actually be kind. Thank you for writing this up.


This story made my day. Thank you.


He is my friend. There's very little that I won't do to help a friend who is truly in need.




Join us for AI Startup School this June 16-17 in San Francisco!

Guidelines | FAQ | Lists | API | Security | Legal | Apply to YC | Contact

Search: